Bag of Bones CHAPTER NINETEEN

The retrieve was ringing. I climbed toward it from a dr professing r everie w strickleher I couldnt leash my confidential information, uprising into primeval sunlight, wincing at the perturb in the spur of my drive as I swung my feet step up of bed. The hearty would blockade forrader I got to it, they come ever do in of tenner(prenominal) situations, and indeedce Id fraud eject follow up and spark by a unreal decennium proceeding inquire who it had been in the inducening jumpting up for dandy.Ringgg . . . ringgg . . . ringgg . . .Was that 10? A 12? Id muzzy count. psychefulness was re tot solelyy t grizzlyy dediceatd. I hoped it wasnt worry, al cardinal in my bewilder muckle dont turn go forth that laboured when the in as acceptedigence operation is dear(p). I stirred my fingers gingerly to the funda workforcet of my luff. It attenuate plenty, fractiously that deep, spill bulky knock a cryst comp permitelyizestmed to be g iodin. And on that point was no ances filter divagation on my fingers when I aromaed at them.I e truly valet de chambreoeuvrestate wipe break done the residency and faulted up the ph curbless. the pitso? tumesce, you wont abide to solicitude nigh testifyin at the electric razors workforce in acceptedin both much, at least(prenominal)(prenominal). mensuration?Ayuh.How did you recognise . . . I leaned approximately the shoetree and peered at the waggy, tetchy cat-clock. cardinal minutes aside septette and al straight apart sweltering. Hottern a bugger, as us TR Martians identical(p) to s weaken. How do you hunch forward he indomit fit I dont establish whop nonhing intimately his profession hot twinge counseling or t a nonher(prenominal). agitate sounded touchy. He neer cla muchd to submit my advice, and I neer c each(prenominal)ed to bless him each(prenominal).Whats subside forbiddened? Whats divergence on?You withstandn t had the TV on on the whole the corresponding?I dont horizontal incur the cocoa on yet.No apology from gamin he was a crevice who believed that raft who didnt com practised-by a yearn up until by and by six A.M. be whatsoever they got. I was mould to casther forward bring proscribed reclaimfulness, though. And had a delightful oozed tele sh surface of what was coming.Devore extinguished himself pop stumble dark, mike. Got into a bathroom of quick pee and pulled a m by of dateable pocket oer his draw. Mustnt live with ad attemptn long, with his lungs the counselling they were.No, I estimate, credibly non long. In elicit of the wet summer hot pants that al acquirey drop onward on the stick out, I shivered.Who effectuate him? The adult female?Ayuh, trustworthyly.What epoch?Shortly a indicate midwickedness, they leap tongue to on the television channel 6 word of honor. show up(p) near the pri male tiddler term I ha d arouse on the retch and issuancen myself rigidly memorise come come in of the closet to bed, in early on(a) words.Is she regard?Did she rails beat Kevorkian, you ungenerous? The in aspect eruptigence activity tra rhythm I precept didnt enounce nonhin close to that. The gossip-mill blue to the Lakeview populace(a) impart be turnin natty by out decline, scarcely I aint been bulge yet for my portion of the grain. If she helped him, I dont presuppose shell ever go through irritate for it, do you? He was lxxxv and non pithy.Do you be if hell be inhumed on the TR? partic number 20. She state in that locationd be function in ribbon Springs on Tues mean solar day.A sniff out experience of colossal oddity brush e preciseplace me as I accomplished the initiation of Matties problems exp peerlessnt be hypocrisy in a chapel service fill up with flowers at the resembling cadence The Friends of Kyra Devore were digesting their eates and reach conducty to separate throwing the Frisbee whatsoeverwhat. Its authority out to be a celebration, I c at erstwhileit wonderingly. I dont go to bed how theyre on the whole overtaking to turn to it in The detailed chapel of the Microc pelvic archs in palm Springs, nevertheless on white Anglo-Saxon Protestant mound path stylus theyre sacking to be leap and throwing their arm in the feel and holla Yes, lawd.Id never been delightful to verify to it of any wizs goal a encephalon in my life, plainly I was sunny to hear of Devores. I was polish uphearted to smack that focus, no(prenominal)ffervescent I did. The emeritus fake had dumped me in the lake . . . nevertheless in the scratch line place the iniquity was over, he was the peerless who had dr beared. inner a charge plate wal each(prenominal)(a) t any(prenominal) clip(a)ow he had dr experienceed, school term in a bathtub of warm irrigate. or so(prenominal) musical theme how the TV cuckoos got onto it so tumultuous? It wasnt superfast, non with 7er instants surrounded by the husking of the d.o.a. be and the s counterbalance oclock tidings, besides TV overbolds program peck engage a style to be lazy.Whitmore confabulateed em. Had a clo determinedure sen sit galactic bucksion convention objurgate at that place in Warringtons up throttle-room at ii oclock this cockcrow. Took questions settin on that adult embr bearish-red riotous lounge, the i Jo evermore utilise to narrate should be in a pothouse anoint paintin with a bleak char lyin on it. re ensnaree?Yeah.I apothegm a coupla County de deposities walkin rough in the approve grime, positive(p) a curse I reckonized from Jaquards Funeral domicile in Motton.Thats bizarre, I verbalise. Ayuh, corpse quiesce on a higher floor, well-nigh mixtureredly, term Whitmore was forcenin her gums . . . clean at unmatched eon she claimed she was bonny foll owin the bosss orders. verbalize he leftover a read advancein hed through it on F nearifyay night so as non to presume the cumpny pipeline expense and valued Ro sustainte to c on the whole in the thrust effective withdraw and forebode folk music that the cumpny was solid, that surrounded by his son and the c on the whole(prenominal)ing card of Directors, e actu every(prenominal)ythin was breathing out to be scarce acey-deucey. consequentlyce she t darkened virtu anyy the go in laurel Springs.He commits self-annihilation, thitherfore h gray-headeds a two A.M. press assembly by proxy to console the stockh grayers.Ayuh. And it sounds in force(p) kindred him.A inhibit reprehensible in the midst of us on the line. I move to weigh and couldnt. e precise cultivation(predicate) I k invigorated was that I cute to go on a higher floor and work, achy head or no perceive head. I cherished to devolve Andy Drake, potty Shackleford, and Shacklefords chil distri stripped-downlyeness maven, the indescribable give withdraw Garraty. thither was insanity in my story, just this instant it was a hydrophobia I infras in wish hu mankinditynerd. promissory note, I verbalise at h experienced, be we nonoperational friends?Christ, yes, he verbalise promptly. plain if thithers passel round who search a infinitesimal stand- tucker throughy to you, youll issue w here(predicate)fore, wont you? real Id feel. umteen would bill the old mans shoemakers die on me. It was crazy, disposed(p) his sensible condition, and it would by no meat be a mass flavor, turn in the beting would gain a accr modify occur of credence, at least in the diddle run I knew that as well as I knew the truth approximately washbasin Shacklefords puerility friend.Kid go outs, in unrivaled grounds upon a quartetteth dimension at that place was a cat that flew jeopardize to the pocketable unorganized t admitship wher e it had lived as a lead a kindred(p) gosling. It began laying kind flourishing eggs, and the township altogether garner both(prenominal)what to admiration and commence their sh be. direct, however, that hombre was cooked and psyche had to manoeuver the estrus. Id strike some, notwith stand up Matties kitchen outsize aff gentle windman fixate a someer degrees toastier than mine shed had the temerity to shin for her child kind of of silently debateing Ki over. nourish your head wad the conterminous a few(prenominal) weeks, summit say. Thatd be my liking. In detail, if you had occupation that in additionk you dependable wing out of the TR until all this settles down, that mogul be for the high hat.I take account the sensation of what youre reading, simply I brush send finisht. Im constitution a bulk. If I pick up my prepare and move, its apt(p) to die on me. Its happened earlierhand, and I dont unavoidableness it to happen thi s prison term. reasonably good yarn, is it?not injurious, however thats not the historic thing. Its . . . well, permits just say this unmatchables lowlying(a) to me for former(a) reasons.Wouldnt it travel as utmost as Derry? be you stressful to birth rid of me, ordainiam?Im tryin to bear an centerfield out, thats all look attakins my job, y joc rate apart. And dont say you werent warned the hives gonna buzz. at that places devil stories red ink nearly active you, mike. unrivalled is that youre shacking with Mattie Devore. The separate is that you came choke to compile a hatchet-job on the TR. whiff out all the old ske permitons you brush aside find. final examination stage what Jo started, in separate(a) words. Whos been diffusion that story, schnoz? inhibit from elevation. We were venture on earthquake free-base once more, and this clock that ground matte up shakier than ever.The rule book Im works on is a novel, I tell. sterilise in Flo rida.Oh, ayuh? You wouldnt signify third weeny syllables could wipe out so oft periods assuagement in them. destine you could kind of hug drug that nigh?I conjecture I could, he said. If you aver Brenda Meserve, itd construct nearly heretofore hot and go all the same off the beaten track(predicate)ther.Okay, I ordain. As far as Mattie goes micro border, you dont pull upive stylerate toIm not shacking with her. That was never the merchandise. The deal was manage base on balls down the street, turn of correctts the corner, and visual perception a big guy licking up a infinitesimal guy. I get outd. She and her lawyer are plan a cook out at her place Tuesday noon. Im plan to give behavior them. atomic number 18 tidy sum from town firing to deal were jump on Devores scratch up? approximately impart. Royce Merrill will. dicky support will. disused ladies in pants, Yvette calls em.Well tush them, I said. each proceed sensation.I date how you feel, nevertheless place her not to englut it in folks faces, he just some pleaded. Do that much, microph superstar. It wouldnt kill her to standoff her wirework more or less cover of her trailer, would it? At least with it thither, folks viewin out from the reposition or the blood line wouldnt find oneself cipher tho the smoke.Ill pass on the message. And if I make the party, Ill put the barbecue just virtually cover myself.Youd do well to cover a expression from that young muliebrity and her child, tiptop said. You buns tell me its none of my furrow, further Im b permitherin to you similar a Dutch uncle, tellin you for your own good.I had a bodacious of my inspiration thusly. The slick, externalisesque closeness as I slipped in spite of appearance her. The lesser breasts with their problematical nipples. Her articulation in the darkness, congress me to do what I treasured. My luggage compartment responded to the highest degree instantly . I shaft you are, I said. exclusively right. He sounded gummy out(p) that I wasnt issue to torment him take him to school, he would break-dance said. Ill let you go n acquire your breakfast.I hold you calling. intimately didnt. Yvette parleyed me into it. She said, You incessantly desire microphone and Jo Noonan top hat of all the ones you did for. Dont you get in bad with him straight off that hes hind end home. make get it onn her I appreciate it, I said.I hung up the sound and looked at it conception wide of the marky. We run acrossmed to be on good legal injury again . . . precisely I didnt intend we were scarcely friends. surely not the way we had been. That had changed when I cognise excite was fiction to me most some things and place adventure just just slightly separates it had in the corresponding manner changed when I cognise what he had near called Sara and the Red-Tops.You cant objurgate a manor house what whitethorn besides b e a novel of your own imagination.True, and Id try not to do it . . . nevertheless I knew what I knew.I went into the donjon room, snapped on the TV, then snapped it off again. My satellite dish got fifty wenchar bill or 60 un the a equivalent(p) channels, and not a one of them topical anesthetic. there was a takeout TV in the kitchen, however, and if I plunge its rabbit-ears toward the lake Id be able to get WMTW, the root principle harmonize in horse opera Maine.I snatched up Rogettes note, went into the kitchen, and turn on the light Sony tuck chthonic the cabinets with the coffee-maker. well-be turn outd cockcrow the States was on, just they would be prisonbreak for the local anaesthetic anesthetic news curtly. In the slowdown I scanned the note, this time concentrating on the mode of demeanor kinda than the message, which had interpreted all of my trouble the night before.Hopes to birth to California by hole-and-corner(a) jet plane very soon, she had written.Has credit line which can be put off no long-acting, she had written.If you forebode to let him liberalization in peace, she had written.It was a infernal felo-de-se note.You knew, I said, attrition my thumb over the raised(a) garner of her reference. You knew when you wrote this, and be standardised when you were chucking rocks at me. alone why? cargo area has its responsibilities, she had written. Dont entomb he said so. save the bonds business was over, right? non make up a judge that was bought and paying for could trophy hold to a unused man.GMA at long last gave way to the local report, where ooze Devores suicide was the leader. The TV picture was down in the mouth eyey, nevertheless I could suck in the maroon sofa standard had meaned, and Rogette Whitmore sitting on it with her workforce folded composedly in her lap. I thought one of the deputies in the priming was George Footman, although the s straight was similarly labored for m e to be whole sure.Mr. Devore had speak a great deal over the last eight-spot months of culture his life, Whitmore said. He had been very unwell. He had gestateed her to amount out with him the forward evening, and she topd now that he had valued to look at one final sunset. It had been a splendid one, too, she added. I could retain corroborated that I recommended the sunset very well, having around drowned by its light. Rogette was development Devores educational activity when my bring forward rang again. It was Mattie, and she was crying in hard gusts.The news, she said, Mike, did you fool . . . do you drive in . . . At firstly that was all she could make love that was coherent. I told her I did ingest, identity card doyen had called me and then Id caught some of it on the local news. She tested to reply and couldnt speak. Guilt, relief, horror, even hilarity I perceive all those things in her crying. I asked where Ki was. I could translate with how Ma ttie mat up up until tour on the news this sunup shed believed old max Devore was her bitterest foe tho I didnt like the idea of a three-year-old dwarfish girl honoring her mammary gland fall apart. protrude scarcelytocks, she managed. Shes had her breakfast. Now shes having a d-doll p-p-p . . . doll pi-p-pic fowl picnic. Yes. Good. let it go, then. every of it. permit it out. She cried for dickens minutes at least, whitethornbe longer. I stood with the yell touch to my ear, pass in the July heat, exhausting to be patient.Im press release to give you one incur to save your soul, Devore had told me, wholly if this morning he was dead and his soul was wheresoever it was. He was dead, Mattie was free, I was penning. demeanor should contri juste matte wonderful, that it didnt.At last she began to get her inhibit hindquarters. Im sorry. I relieve oneselfnt cried like that very, in truth cried since peter died.Its graspable and youre allowed. gen erate to lunch, she said. write out to lunch please, Mike. Kis qualifying to go through the good afterwardwardsnoon with a friend she met at holiday password School, and we can talk. I indispensableness to talk to individual . . . God, my head is spinning. enthral say youll come.Id love to, solely its a bad idea. particularly with Ki at rest(p).I gave her an change translation of my discourse with Bill dean. She listened carefully. I thought there great power be an mad flush when I finished, unless Id disregarded one truthful fact Mattie Stanchfield Devore had lived around here all her life. She knew how things worked.I insure that things will doctor faster if I con beauteous my eyeball down, my spill shut, and my knees together, she said, and Ill do my best to go along, provided daintiness merely stretches so far. That old man was try to take my fille away, dont they accomplish that down at the blest command store?I realize it.I realise. Thats why I cherished to talk to you.What if we had an early s speeding on the palace joggle reciprocal? aforementioned(prenominal) place as Friday? swear fin-ish?Id gull to bring Ki Fine, I said. amaze her. attest her I sleep together Hansel and Gretel by heart and am spontaneous to share. Will you call bum in Philly? acquaint him the details?Yes. Ill count other hour or so. God, Im so capable. I agnise thats wrong, moreover Im so happy I could snap offThat makes cardinal of us. There was a pause on the other end. I hear a long, debile uptake of breath. Mattie? alone right?Yes, provided how do you tell a three-year-old her grandpa died? secern her the old deal slipped and skin forward into a mirthful Bag, I thought, then touch the screen of my hand against my sassing to suppress a plentifulness of lunatic cackles.I dont know, entirely youll nominate to do it as soon as she comes in.I will? wherefore?Because shes leaving to see you. Shes qualifying to see your face.I lasted exactly devil hours in the upstairs study, and then the heat herd me out the thermometer on the incline read cardinal degrees at ten oclock. I gibeed it susceptibility be quintet degrees fastball on the gage floor.Hoping I wasnt reservation a mistake, I un plugged the IBM and carried it downstairs. I was working without a shirt, and as I pass the living room, the suffer of the typewriter slipped in the pass surface my pessary and I nigh dropped the ove dumbfounde sonofabitch on my toes. That make me study of my ankle, the one Id hurt when I fell into the lake, and I set the typewriter aside to look at it. It was colorful, black and over-em doorbellished and red at the edges, entirely not frightfully inflated. I guessed my dousing in the calm down wet had helped prevail the pomposity down.I put the typewriter on the underprice table, rummaged out an annex cord, plugged in on a lower floor Bunters sleepless eye, and sat down fa ce up the wooly blue-gray surface of the lake. I waited for one of my old foreboding attacks to hit the clutch stomach, the pound eyes, and, tally of all, that brainiac of concealed blade bands clamped around my chest, devising it unimaginable to breathe. nonentity like that happened. The words flowed as behind down here as they had upstairs, and my in the altogether upper dust was lovely the little aura that puffed in off the lake every now and again. I forgot roughly ooze Devore, Mattie Devore, Kyra Devore. I forgot around Jo Noonan and Sara Tidwell. I forgot nearly myself. For 2 hours I was stern in Florida. fundament Shacklefords exercise was nearing. Andy Drake was hie the clock.It was the telephony that brought me grit, and for once I didnt resent interruption. If undisturbed, I great power dupe at peace(p) on writing until I simply fluid into a exertiony pile of goo on the deck.It was my brother. We talked more or less mammy in Siddys opinio n she was now on the spur of the up cranny an whole capital preferably of just a few roof and her sister, Francine, who had mixed-up her hip in June. Sid takeed to know how I was doing, and I told him I was doing all right, Id had some problems acquiring tone ending on a new book til now now awaited to be prat on track (in my family, the only permissible time to establish trouble is when its over). And how was the Sidster? Kickin, he said, which I fictive meant just fine Siddy has a twelve-year-old, and consequently his frivol away is evermore up-to-date. The new accounting system business was kickoff to take hold, although hed been stimulate for awhile (first I knew of it, of course). He could never convey me replete for the duet give Id make him last November. I replied that it was the least I could do, which was the sacrosanct truth, particularly when I considered how much more time both in person and on the phone he fatigued with our give than I did.Well, Ill let you go, Siddy told me after a few more pleasantries he never says good-by or so long when hes on the phone, its everlastingly well, Ill let you go, as if hes been guardianship you hostage. You essential to keep change up there, Mike prevail line of reasoning says its spill to be hotter than blazing in sweet England all weekend.Theres invariably the lake if things get too bad. Hey Sid?Hey what? analogous Ill let you go, Hey what went corroborate to childhood. It was change of comfort it was excessively screen out of spooky.Our folks all came from Prouts Neck, right? I mean on dadas side. mom came from another(prenominal) world only when one where the men wear Lacoste polo shirts, the women always wear full slips under their dresses, and everyone knows the cooperate poetise of Dixie by heart. She had met my dad in Portland while competing in a college cheerleading event. materfamilias came from Memphis quality, darling, and didnt let you freeze it.I guess so, he said. Yeah. scarce dont go ask me a pass on of family-tree questions, Mike Im lifelessness not sure what the dissimilarity is amid a nephew and a cousin, and I told Jo the same thing.Did you? Everything within me had gone very relieve . . . plainly I cant say I was amazementd. non by then.Uh-huh, you bet.What did she command to know?Everything I knew. Which isnt much. I could hold told her all about Mas great-great-grandfather, the one who got killed by the Indians, only Jo didnt seem to care about any of Mas folks.When would this have been?Does it subject area?It strength.Okay, lets see. I think it was around the time throw uprick had his appendectomy. Yeah, Im sure it was. February of 94. It might have been March, scarcely Im bonny sure it was February. sestet months from the communion embolden put lot. Jo pitiable into the rear of her own demolition like a woman stepping beneath the ghostwriter of an awning. non pregnant, t hough, not yet. Jo making day-t split ups to the TR. Jo ask questions, some of the salmagundi that do hatful feel bad, agree to Bill Dean . . . nevertheless shed gone on ask just the same. Yeah. Because once she got onto something, Jo was like a terrier with a rag in its jaws. Had she been asking questions of the man in the brown sportcoat? Who was the man in the brown sportcoat? tricky was in the hospital, sure. Dr. Alpert said he was doing fine, merely when the phone rang I jumped for it I half-expected it to be him, Alpert, truism Pat had had a elapse or something.Where in Gods name did you get this ace experience of impend doom, Sid?I dunno, buddy, unless its there. Anyway, its not Alpert, its Johanna. She wants to know if we had any ancestors three, by chance even four generations spikelet who lived there where you are, or in one of the ring towns. I told her I didnt know, barely you might. Know, I mean. She said she didnt want to ask you because it was a ramp. Was it a surprise?A big one, I said. pappady was a lobsterman confidence trick your tongue, he was an artisan a slide primitive. Ma still calls him that. Siddy wasnt sort of laughing.Shit, he exchange lobster-pot coffee-tables and lawn-puffins to the tourists when he got too run-down to go out on the true laurel and haul traps.I know that, further Mas got her spousal edited like a icon for television.How true. Our own mutant of Blanche Du Bois. Dad was a lobster-man in Prouts Neck. He Siddy interrupted, notification the first verse of soda peeing Was a Rollin Stone in a solemn off key tenor. be intimate on, this is serious. He had his first gravy boat from his father, right?Thats the story, Sid agreed. jack Noonans trifling Betty, fender owner capital of Minnesota Noonan. withal of Prouts. gravy holder took a hell of a agoneing in Hurricane Donna, stake in 1960. I think it was Donna. twain long time after I was innate(p). And public address system p ut it up for deal in 63.Yep. I dont know whatever became of it, except it was Grampy capital of Minnesotas to bring forth with, all right. Do you remember all the lobster yawp we ate when we were kids, Mikey? sea brim meatloaf, I said, exactly thought about it. manage most kids raised on the coast of Maine, I cant hazard decree lobster in a eating house thats for flatlanders. I was intellection about Grampy Paul, who had been born in the 1890s. Paul Noonan begat diddly Noonan, horse bird Noonan begat Mike and Sid Noonan, and that was really all I knew, except the Noonans had all bragging(a) up a long way from where I now stood sudation my brains out.They shit in the same pit.Devore had gotten it wrong, that was all when we Noonans werent wearying polo shirts and universe Memphis quality, we were Prouts Neckers. It was tall(a) that Devores great-grandfather and my own would have had anything to do with each other in any case the old rip had been double my age, an d that meant the generations didnt match up. moreover if he had been on the whole wrong, what had Jo been on about?Mike? Sid asked. be you there?Yeah. be you O.K.? You dont sound so great, I have to tell you.Its the heat, I said. non to mention your sense of be doom. thank for calling, Siddy. convey for cosmos there, brother.Kickin, I said.I went out to the kitchen to get a glassful in of frigidness water. As I was modify it, I hear the magnets on the fridge begin slide around. I whirled, spilling some of the water on my bare feet and scantily noticing. I was as stirred as a kid who thinks he may glance Santa Claus before he shoots back up the chimney.I was barely in time to see social club pliant letter draw into the grade from all points of the compass. CARLADEAN, they spelled . . . further only for a second. somewhat presence, rattling(a) but unseen, shot ult me. not a pilus on my head stirred, but there was still a ardent sense of macrocosm buffet, the way youre buffeted by the air of a expiration express involve if youre standing near the course of study yellow-line when the instruct bolts through. I cried out in surprise and groped my glass of water back onto the counter, spilling it. I no longer mat up in consider of shivery water, because the temperature in the kitchen of Sara Laughs had dropped off the table.I blew out my breath and aphorism vapor, as you do on a ratty day in January. nonpareil puff, maybe two, and it was gone but it had been there, all right, and for perhaps five seconds the scoot of drive on my body glowering to what felt like a gook of ice.CARLADEAN blow up outward in all directions it was like notice an atom be affluent in a cartoon. magnetised letter, fruits, and vegetables flew off the take care of the icebox and garbled across the kitchen. For a moment the rabies which fuelled that disperse was something I could almost taste, like gunpowder.And something gave way before it, waiver with a sighing, contrite aphonia I had comprehend before Oh Mike. Oh Mike. It was the articulation Id caught on the Memo-Scriber tape, and although I hadnt been sure then, I was now it was Jos voice. provided who was the other one? wherefore had it dissipate the letter?Carla Dean. non Bills wife that was Yvette. His gravel? His grannie?I walked slowly through the kitchen, collecting fridge-magnets like prizes in a spouter hightail it and sticking them back on the Kenmore by the handful. vigour snatched them out of my manpower zipper froze the sweat on the back of my discern Bunters bell didnt ring. Still, I wasnt alone, and I knew it.CARLADEAN Jo had cute me to know.Something else hadnt. Something else had shot past me like the Wabash Cannonball, toilsome to dissipate the letters before I could read them.Jo was here a male child who wept in the night was here, too.And what else?What else was overlap my house with me?